Hello everyone, today's topic will be stupid people. Now I know that simply coining the phrase "stupid people" is a little broad, so I shall drastically narrow it down: stupid people who possess "sh*t for brains" who, even in the most basic of arguments, are not able to come up with even the simplest a retort or pithy comment, and thus do to this lack of intelligence and/or cleverness, have to resort to empty threats of violence. How sad. By now, the majority of you have probably come to the conclusion that I probably encountered one of these people in the past few days. This assumption is undoubtedly correct (give yourself a pat on the back). I shall not name names, instead I shall aptly refer to this idiot as "Simpleton". Now typically Simpleton, for the most part, is a really cool kid. I guess I'll just tell the story.... with commentary here and there, of course. 'Twas after school and before track practice the other day. A member of the baseball team was ignorantly commenting to one of our runners, who also plays baseball, that he should not go to track practice and go to baseball instead because he could "run by himself later on." I'll admit the comment pissed me off a little more than it should have and I replied to the baseball player that the sprinter needed to show up to practice because running by himself would not be the same. I explained that this idea was just as likely as a baseball player skipping practice and going home to play catch with his dad later on, hoping that it would yield the same results. So, Simpleton was a few feet away and apparently I had ticked him off now. The reason being is that I "think I'm the best runner in the world and that track is the best sport in the world," (which we all know it isn't, it's second to great sports like curling, cricket, and ping pong) but we'll get to that later. Once Simpleton has heard my reply to the other baseball player's comment, he decides to join in the meaningless argument. He sarcastically asks me what I think the sprinter should do, "maybe he should just do track!?" I then stated that there was no reason he could not do both. However, one must take in to consideration a few facts about this sprinter: A.) he's only a freshmen and will most likely not play varsity baseball, however he
WILL run varsity track B.) track season has already officially started,
baseball has not. C.) the sprinter is needed and appreciated by the track team far more than the baseball team. I unfortunately did not explain this too him. Nonetheless, after I told him that the sprinter could do both he told me that I thought I knew everything. I told him that I did not know everything (for example, I still have yet to find out why hot dog buns come in packages of 8 instead of 6, which is obviously a much more feasible size), but that I did know I was the only male from our high school to make it to regionals in the past 2 years in any sport (save bowling I realized later) and that, furthermore, the baseball team had not advanced to regionals since 1978 (or '76, whatever the case it was a hella long time ago, since then more than 3 runners have made all-state). Simpleton then decided to throw his insults at my team rather than me. He then says that the baseball team doesn't make it because they have to work as a team, unlike the track team. Afterall, "when was the last time your team advanced to regionals or won conference?" Wow Simpleton, good question..... if I was talking to a four year-old anyway. I explained that first off, teams don't advance to regionals in track, individuals do. Secondly, over the past 2 years our team has fielded less than 10 people. And, unlike baseball, that is not enough to "play ball" when it comes to making noise as a team. Simpleton then claims that all of our team should be able to qualify as individuals for regionals. Hmm..... another interesting theory. However, it's a really stupid argument considering that A.) not even perrennial powerhouses such as Valpo can get everyone to regionals and B.) you can only put 2 people in each event at sectionals so it would be impossible to get everyone to qualify. The problem is when he gets angry, especially about things that are way over his ability to comprehend, he starts to lose what little ability he already possessed to think rationally. Which I will get to once I finish this part of the story and get to the next part. That is all for tonight ~ Rich NOTE: the story will be continued on this specific thread, not another one
